Do NOT Sell My Son Short (Updated)

I am TIRED of having to wait for people to recognize how AWESOME my sons are!
Sometimes, I want to scream "DO NOT SELL MY SON SHORT!"
Can You tell that it has been a frustrating week?
First, AGAIN, our oldest Aspie son was NOT recognized by his fellow scouts with membership into the Order of the Arrow, although he is the only scout in his Patrol or the next patrol down who has not been chosen. We even have other parents in the Troop asking us why he has not been chosen....we simply say, "Because the other scouts do not understand him and it is those scouts who vote on the award."
Then, a person who is very talented but who does not have a lot of experience with teaching violin tells me that my middle son can not participate in a String Camp that I KNOW he is able to do.....if one just speaks the right language.
That's the whole problem.....we just do NOT speak the same language. But is it really fair to "make" them adhere to "our" language....or could we learn from them? Well, people would have to CARE ENOUGH to WANT to learn and then they would have to TAKE THE TIME to do it! Most people in our fast-paced world of "TIME IS MONEY" just do not want to take that time.....even if they do care.
I recently was speaking with someone who has trained with Monty Roberts, the Horse Whisperer. He beautifully explained how Mr. Roberts grew up on a ranch and watched his father "BREAK" horses so that they could be trained. Is that not what society does sometimes...."break" these gloriously gifted children into submission...into accepting the "correct" way as the "only" way?
I truly wish that, as Monty Roberts does with horses, I could learn the "Language of the Aspie Child."
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I am not sure if you all can see the comments left, but I want to thank all of you who commented on the above post. I found great comfort in many of the posts. Thanks to my Australian friend for his vigilance. Unfortunately, I think that I must not have expressed myself clearly enough as some of you thought that I felt the BSA rules should be changed for my oldest Aspie son. I would like to answer this comment and I don't know if the commenter will see it if I do not post it as an addendum to the original post.

Assistant Scout Master-Thanks for your input. My husband and I have both volunteered with BSA for 8 years now as leaders and Cubmaster/Assistant Cubmaster. We do know the requirements for OA. Our son has fulfilled them all and is now about to work on Eagle. My problem is that he is judged by a double-standard. For instance, as he was meeting scouts for a camp out, we witnessed (from the sidelines) that he helped 5 younger scouts set up their cots, equipment, etc. while the rest of his patrol was playing around. When he joined in the fun with his patrol, they told him to calm down as he was being too loud, yet he was not as loud as those who were playing before. I completely agree the OA is the "Honor Society of Scouting." I just think that it looses some of its HONOR is the Principles of Scouting are not employed. A scout is, among other things LOYAL, COURTEOUS, FRIENDLY, KIND. We have never asked that the requirement be changed for our sons, even though altered requirements for merit badges are available.  I am not asking that he be treated differently....I am wishing that he could be treated the same.