I recently read a report suggesting that the rise in Autism Spectrum Disorder diagnoses can be traced to a stress hormone secreted during pregnancy. Great....back to blaming the mother. So I found myself once again wondering what I could have done differently. I revisit that quest often, as I am sure many Aspie parents do. But I have found that there is no use in living in that question....as it is not "living." That is a question that can cause a parent to "get stuck".....at least it can cause ME to get stuck. But then, I started to think about it. It is our oldest 2 sons that have Asperger's. Our youngest son, up to this point, does not exhibit symptoms.... Well, with my oldest son, being pregnant for the first time, I must say that I was a queen and did not stress about much. And, we can DATE when the "switch" happened with him. It was shortly after his 18 month shots.....he woke up one night and would not go back to sleep. It was like aliens had come down to Earth, taken our son, and left someone that looked like our son......but did not act like our son. Our middle son, who also has Asperger's, was a "perfect baby." We think that his Asperger's can be traced to oxygen deficiency at birth. It is our youngest son, who does not show signs of Asperger's, with which I experienced the most stress while pregnant. We had lost a child to miscarriage just 7 months before we became pregnant with our youngest. Every step I took was filled with trepidation and fear. Every day I was scared that, once again, I would loose a precious child. Our lives were in confusion as we had to move from our beautiful dream home to a much smaller house that didn't even have an extra room for a nursery. Money and quality time were short....and so was my patience. Yet, THIS SON is the one that doesn't have Asperger's Syndrome. I know that not every study pertains to every case. No sure-fire reason for this disease has been found as of yet. Th most important thing is that I recognize the gifts that have been given to me....THE GIFTS....because they ARE gifts...and do my best to help them, to love them along the way.
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As an answer to the comment below.......
Hey! Thanks for the comment!! I LOVE receiving comments as it means SOMEONE is reading....hahaha.
I have started refering to you as "My friend from Australia." Hope that's ok.
You are correct in that there is hard evidence of a genetic component. If I remember correctly, there is an problem with protein absorption in chromosome 17. Also, the person that presented their findings works for an organization that once held a "clinic" in our area. We attended a workshop that presented a lot of exciting data....but if you looked closely, all of the data was hypothetical, not conclusive. We would also have had to dish out a lot of money before they could even be considered for the program. Seemed fishy to us and the "clinic" only lasted about 1 1/2 years in our area.
I also agree that my sons are gifts. I think I have shown that past posts. It is my hope that other parents can gain some amount of peace by reading my posts. It is only that I am human and susceptible to moments of personal doubt...sorry.
Thanks again for your comments!!!!
There's clear signs that there is a genetic component and in any case, they're not going to make a medical breakthrough that can suddenly "reverse the condition" and rewind your life.
ReplyDeleteTime to stop worrying about pointing fingers and move on.
Aspergers has been with us for as long as we can remember (long before it had a name). You're right, your children are GIFTS.
It's not good when someone gets a gift that they don't like, are unsatisfied and want to change it.
Acceptance is much better.
Accept - move on - Love and Enjoy.