Visiting Friends

We just spent a wonderful weekend with out-of-town friends. If you are parents of an Aspie child, you know that this can be a trying time. New place, new people, new situations..... But we are BLESSED that these friends take the time to understand Asperger's and they love our children. We have spent a lot of time with these friends so our boys are very comfortable with them, as well. In fact, we NEVER see our middle son interact with another child the way he interacts with our friends' daughter. She really "grounds" him. (picture posted) I think part of why our sons can enjoy themselves so much visiting is that they KNOW the situation. Boundries are set up and clearly defined. Our friends take great pains to make sure they speak in level tones and that the boys KNOW they are loved. Also, there is NO JUDGEMENT. Most Aspie parents will understand the feelings of judgement, or worse....pity, when they spend time with other families. The backhanded suggestions about parenting or the looks that make me want to say, "HEY! THIS IS A CHILD OF GOD!" None of that is experienced here. There is only acceptance!

 I was conversing with one of our friends while we drove into the city. She complemented my husband and myself saying that, "we actually PARENT our kids." That statement took me by surprise. Doesn't every parent "PARENT" their kids? I found myself saying, "Well, we kinda have to PARENT our kids." We started to discuss the issue. Thinking that we are actually "good parents" is beyond my emotional vocabulary. It is too much to ask. We only deal with issues and love our children. We are not gifted in our ability, we make mistakes (often) and we DO NOT know what we are doing. But, no one does. We just love our kids and pray that the rest will fall into place.

It all seems to be going back to love...